It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
