I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
