So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful