real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.