i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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