found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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