After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
