you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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