just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
