a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
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