my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
