found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
