You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
