walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
