We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
