i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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