Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
