My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
