P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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