I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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