I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
