what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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