I wish I only lived at night.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
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And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
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Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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