I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
smell my finger.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
