Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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