maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
