Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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