Fuck appropriateness.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
