Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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