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• (480): View more from Arizona

  just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  k i'll be over in 5.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...

  (1-386): View more from Florida

  thanks for that.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (845): View more from New York

  You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you

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• (940): View more from Texas

  This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in

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• (805): View more from California

  It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex

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• (518): View more from New York

  I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house

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• (518): View more from New York

  CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS

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