you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit