just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS