I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Every concussion has its silver lining
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
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