Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?

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  (703): i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/u7ul
  Replies (13) Good night (1037) Bad night (460)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.

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  (312): Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis. http://tfl.nu/m3hq
  Replies (12) Good night (1913) Bad night (627)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.

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  (336): He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters. http://tfl.nu/0ibe
  Replies (12) Good night (676) Bad night (3019)
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  (310): View more from California

  I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.

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  (310): I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen. http://tfl.nu/puzs
  Replies (27) Good night (998) Bad night (11129)
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  (718): View more from New York

  You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?

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  (718): You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish? http://tfl.nu/wvgn
  Replies (28) Good night (8626) Bad night (1440)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.

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  (352): Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person. http://tfl.nu/l0db
  Replies (10) Good night (1138) Bad night (3616)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?

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  (403): When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain? http://tfl.nu/0j3p
  Replies (13) Good night (5041) Bad night (894)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.

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  (815): Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa. http://tfl.nu/kz18
  Replies (3) Good night (1878) Bad night (556)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.

  (1-605): View more from South Dakota

  Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.

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  (605): Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability. (1-605): Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit. http://tfl.nu/l83k
  Replies (10) Good night (705) Bad night (967)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth

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  (480): In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth http://tfl.nu/2qc1
  Replies (10) Good night (1396) Bad night (499)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.

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  (610): porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy. http://tfl.nu/gke1
  Replies (12) Good night (2374) Bad night (452)
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  (916): View more from California

  There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE

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  (916): There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE http://tfl.nu/puex
  Replies (2) Good night (676) Bad night (289)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk

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  (614): fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk http://tfl.nu/crvd
  Replies (4) Good night (565) Bad night (410)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?

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  (519): Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night? http://tfl.nu/8brj
  Replies (2) Good night (404) Bad night (238)
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  (530): View more from California

  Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.

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  (530): Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery. http://tfl.nu/qyfd
  Replies (2) Good night (307) Bad night (540)

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