Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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