You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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