He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
