after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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