wakey wakey hands off snakey
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
