So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
