At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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