i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize