I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Bang-toberfest begins!!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
