Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
