If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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