And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
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you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
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Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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