Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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