i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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