Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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