there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize