I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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