So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
