A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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