i already hear my dad disowning me
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
