i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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