Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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