somebody snuck up and got me drunk
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize