It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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