just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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