i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We talked him into tasing himself.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
