Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
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Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
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You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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