i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
