First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
