I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
