so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
